Vongo is a new video download service from the Starz Entertainment Group in cooperation with Microsoft. Starz has gifted consumers before with a movie service: Starz On Demand, which offered incomprehensible and counter-intuitive usage restrictions based on the mystefying and archaic release-window schedule employed by the movie studios.

Vongo bundles the OnDemand into the new service as added value--a side dish to the main course which provides all-you-can-eat subscription access to about 1,000 movie titles for $9.99 per month. Again, the damn release window slams shut at some point, and downloads implode on the hard drive. As such, Vongo is driving a stake into loose and shifting ground; most observers believe the tiered-access system of release windows will come to an end before long.

Adding to the confusion, Vongo is, if anything, more perplexing than Starz On Demand...Users purchase the right to view a downloaded film in a series of 10 24-hour periods. You may watch the movie an unlimited number of times within each 24-hour period (the first of which begins when you first start a viewing). When the 10 24-hour periods are used up (and, presumably, you have viewed the film at least 10 times), you must repurchase the movie to see it again. All this transpires within the overall availability window of the movie. Got that? Consumer-friendly, isn't it? It puts the lie to Vongo's marketing language, which advertises "Watch as often as you want."

Pay-per-view movies (which are in the On Demand section of the service and cost $3.99 each) must be viewed within a single 24-hour period, and that period begins when playback is started--again, within the overall availability window. If I have to type "availability window" one more time, I'm going to burn down my local multiplex. (Note to Homeland Security: that was a joke.)

On the bright side, Vongo is far more platform-agnostic than Starz On Demand, which requires the IE browser to even browse the catalogue. By contrast, Vongo accepts Firefox visitation and requires a client download (12.5MB). Part of the Terms of Service requires that all linkage to the Vongo site be marked as "Vongo Online Service." Who am I to violate such a sensible requirment? Vongo Online Service. There you go. The ToS also acknowledges that Starz collects both personally identifiable and non-personally identifiable information.

Once downloaded and installed, the Vongo program puts you through a monstrous eight-step registration process. You must nickname your computer to help keep track of another usage restriction; Vongo downloads may be played on no more than three devices.

During my test registration proceeded until Step 7--the money step. Ever the willing guinea pig, I entered my address and credit card info, clicked NEXT, and the following message popped up: "An unexpected error occured during registration. Please try again or contact customer service." Customer what? Who service? A search for customer service left me dizzy and joyless. I tried to register again. And again, and again, and again. Vongo does not want my money. I am sitting here, eager to purchase a maze of usage restrictions that would drive the Pope to devil-worship. Rebuffed am I.

The review will be continued after I crack into the system. For now, the important point is to recognize how Starz is attempting to position Vongo. You might view the service as an eager competitor to iTunes and its growing portfolio of video content. But Vongo is all about dissing Netflix. The marketing insults postal-mail systems, priding itself on "instant gratification" and freedom from the need to make lists. Problem is, the Starz availability window typically occurs about six months after DVD release, according to this AP report. That fact rather goes against the instant gratification theme. I don't deny the pleasures of downloading, and I think the Vongo deal potentially conveys better consumer value that Netflix, which, for the same monthly price of $9.99, jforces the user to return the outstanding movie before receiving a new one.

I'm ready to like Vongo, usage tangles and all. If only it would take my money.