With an April 1 announcement that took industry observers by surprise, the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) expanded its litigation strategy by initiating lawsuits against creators of cassette mix tapes. The subpoenas will target copyright infringements of the 1970s. Because of the bizarre nature and unusual importance of this story, I am copying the entire published report here:

WASHINGTON (AFP) - With a startling April 1 announcement, the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) launched a new era of consumer lawsuits by targeting creators of cassette "mix tapes."

Song compilations recorded to cassette using home stereo equipment have largely been replaced by digital products that include MP3 players and online file-sharing networks. Cary Sherman, President of the RIAA, affirmed the organization's intent to target acts of copyright infringement perpetrated in the 1970s.

"The lawsuits are a critical deterrent," Sherman said in a prepared statement. "We must send a message to individuals that there are consequences to using modern tools of piracy."

The cassette tape was invented in 1962 by the Philips Company as a business dictation product. Consumer demand was unanticipated.

"It's a classic case of criminal consumers appropriating technology for evil purposes," stated Mitch Bainwol, CEO of the RIAA. "The damage to CD sales inflicted by mix tapes is astronomical! The thieving bastards must be punished!"

Unlike "John Doe" lawsuits aimed at users of online peer-to-peer services, the latest round of subpoenas will be sent directly to named individuals. The recipients will be targeted according to demographic considerations.

"Most Boomers are implicated," said Sherman. "Anyone who was enrolled in college during the early '70s, and certainly anyone who attended an anti-war demonstration during the Vietnam era, is going to hear from us."

Sherman also indicated that some lawsuit targets would be pulled straight from the phone book. "We figure most everyone has shared music at one time or another, and who has deeper pockets than us? Nobody, baby! There's no reason every person in America shouldn't be sued eventually."

Asked whether a ceaseless strategy of consumer lawsuits, with its overwhelmingly negative public relations impact and apparent lack of effect on song trading, would ever create a law-abiding nation, Mitch Bainwol broke down and wept.

"I know, we're being fools," he blubbered. "But we're desperate. Adaptation is out of the question. Acceptance of marketplace realities is unthinkable. Understanding human nature is beyond us. Retooling our broken business model is too much work. What is left but to lash out against those who love our products the most?"

Bainwol continued in this vein for several minutes after most reporters had left the room.